When words fail.....

Dearly Beloveds,

I have a confession to make, I've been trying to write this email since I spoke to Nic after her epic marathon run on Monday and I must admit that I've really been struggling with finding the words to accurately express my thanks and hand on my heart gratitude to all of you for this incredible amount raised. It's an overwhelming feeling to receive that much love, money, support and energy, I find that I can only bite off small chunks at a time cos it feels really big..... forgive me for being slow to react....

What my most beloved friends (and new friends) in Ireland, London and San Fran have done with their fundraisers and what my hero marathon runner Nic has done is incredible, she ran 26 miles in my name, she trained and injured herself and rallied all of ye around me with her loving and charming ways and has, with your help, given me the most beautiful gift of help when I needed it most.

This gift comes wrapped in all of your love, it is so moving to be on the receiving end, so from the bottom of my heart I want to say thank you thank you thank you !..... your generosity of spirit, your sweet words of encouragement and just the beauteous humanity of it opens my heart wider, grows my courage and gives me the strength to keep going, to keep trying, but most of all, makes me feel so beautifully loved and held and that my dears is the greatest gift you could ever give me....

This disease is so hard to handle but the humanity and the goodness that it awakens in all of us is nothing short of astonishing and I want to thank you for being a beautiful ally and friend to me on this long road I find myself on, I literally could not do this without you.

I'm working on a blog post where I'll write more on this and catch you up on what's happening but I just had to send out a few words of love and thanks to you, to Nichola and all my London supporters, to Jane and Manners for gathering the loyal and lovely Newbridge College posse together, to Kelsey and Dee and all the SF/Bolinas family here for your kindness and goodness- May you all be showered in blessings, love and magic for your good deeds, I am forever grateful to you,
With all of the love I can muster from the depth of my heart,

Aisling xxxxxxxxx

myyyyyyyyy waaaaaaaaaayyyyyy

Post Surgery Update

Dearly beloved fans of Ais,

Ais has come out of surgery and is recovering now in the ICU.  We got to see her briefly and she is doing well.  Dr. McDermott, her neurosurgeon, was pleased with the surgery.  The tumor was successfully removed.  Either Ais or one of us will update the blog in the next couple days.


On behalf of Ais, thank you for all the loving calls, texts, thoughts and prayers. They helped keep her spirits bright over the past couple days. As they wheeled her away to surgery Ais rewrote the words to Frank Sinatra's "My Way" to more accurately reflect her current situation and serenaded the ward.

Love,
Ais, Ellen, Margaret and Emily

hello my dearest loves ! I'm going in......

My darlings...
I admit it's been a minute since my last update.. and for good reason, last year I wrote when I was open and inspired, sharing when I felt inspired but keeping the really hard times hidden to protect those I loved from the harrowing experience that is living with an on-going, never bloody ending cancer diagnosis.
This year was more of a mixed bag, where I really learned to turn into my feelings and get at the heart of the matter but nothing felt certain so it felt more genuine and real to me to leave it blank... if I've left you hanging forgive me, I just needed to keep my cards a little closer to my chest....

Right now I am having difficulty typing with my left hand so I'll keep this short and sweet for once.....
 I am here to ask you for a favour, suddenly things health-wise have taken a sharp right turn and and I am calling in all the love and light I can muster from you bright souls...... Recently I've been experiencing weakness on my left side, both in the arm and the leg until I could barely walk... then I had a few of what I thought were muscular seizures that I failed to recognise as brain seizures and had one so severe this Saturday, I took myself to the ER where after a cat scan they found a 2.4 cm tumor in the centre of my brain close to the skull, right in the middle of the part that controls the motor function on the left side.
Woof. big news......
Having spent the week leading up to this thinking that my goose was cooked with semi-paralysis, loss of focus, weight loss and headaches that would flatten an elephant, I really thought I was at the end of my days and cried a lot over the weekend, then arrived here after lots of blubbering and got the news about the tumor and felt somehow relieved knowing what was going on and that this tumor was resectable (easily removed through surgery).
This little golf ball beauty has caused considerable oedema on the brain and has caused the brain to shift from the midline over to the left by .08%....Needless to say this has to be fixed asap, so I'm going in today to get removed, they will simultaneously implant tiny Brachy radiation seeds (a technique called Brachy Therapy)  around the wound site to prevent a recurrent tumour from growing there, it's high-tech and minimum dose so hopefully it'll all be ok......

So now you know, they are very cool about it and say it's very standard procedure and easy as far as neurosurgery goes...... I'll ask my lovely surgeon to amend my brain by resecting the indignance and stubborness and maybe add an implant of 50 extra IQ points to make up for past naughtiness........

So beloved friends, family, soul family and bright lights ! Be with me in your hearts today loves, send all that love and light and direct it my way, Imagine the surgery going perfectly with me coming out better than before ! Then send it to the earth with your hands or feet, so she and all can receive the glory of all this love. I reach out to you because I wouldn't want to do this without you, your love, laughs, help and support have carried me along this long and hard road, it's filled me up when times got low and I cannot thank you all enough for EVERYTHING you've all done in big and small ways, I hold you all in a precious place in my heart that is always there, available to you anytime, no matter what.

May today's event be blessed by the sun, moon and stars and may they in turn bask in the light that we create. I love you all to infinity and beyond, looking forward to chatting with you on the other side !!!!! till then xxxxx