Hello my beauties, Happy New Year ! Well here we are in the middle of January and a lot has happened since my last post.
Let's see, my sister Maeve graced me once again with her glorious presence to get me through the ordeal of pre and post surgery. What a joy to have a family member here to get me through it, there is nothing like family in tough times.
Surgery is an incredibly invasive process on an energetic level, it can take a huge toll on the body, so I decided to do it from an empowered standpoint. The day before, Maeve and I travelled up to the top of Mount Tamalpais, a very beautiful and sacred place just north of San Francisco. Up there above the cloud line I prayed to the spirits of Mum and Dad, to all my ancestors, to my guides and to Great Spirit herself to be with me during surgery, to heal and remove the cancer completely and utterly, on every level. I talked to my body and told it that the surgery was for my highest good and allowed the surgeons in. I opened myself up energetically to all of you who were praying for me too and invited you into the healing process.
Some of may know that I have been working with a group of women studying Reiki and Shamanism for the past few years, an experience that has changed me profoundly and opened me up in ways I could have never imagined. Well I was utterly blessed to have these amazing women doing distance Reiki on me during my surgery. That, coupled with all of your loving intentions, thoughts and prayers directed my way that day, created a web of love and healing around me that I know protected me from what was a very serious, invasive surgery.
The results were nothing short of amazing. Something magical happened when I went under the knife, I was completely surrounded in love and support, so much so that when I awoke something was different, I didn't feel sick anymore. It was like I just knew that they got everything out and for the first time in a year I felt healed, body, mind and soul.
When I woke up from the anesthetic I felt surprisingly fine and full of the joys, barely needing painkillers, seriously. I felt so full of life and energy it blew my mind. I was expecting to spend Christmas laid up in bed with poor Maeve feeding me with a spoon and yet there I was running around like a loon, almost normal. She said that caring for me was like trying to take care of a racehorse....
It was amazing and empowering and you know what ?.....
We did that.
The love in your hearts and your well wishes and prayers made a huge difference to my healing process. To me, that's the healing power of love and intention in a nutshell. It proves to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that we all have sovereign abilities to heal ourselves and others with true heart intention.
Ten days after surgery we saw the nurse and were amazed at how good everything looked, I thought my chest would be covered in blood and bruises and all things horror, (and I guess I have to admit here that I have quite the imagination), but all I saw was clean skin and a small 2 inch scar. No bruises, none, unbelievable. A testament to the skill of the surgeons here at UCSF, no pain and tiny scars after a double mastectomy, they really are amazing at what they do. Lucky, lucky me.
And now for the goodies, I had a meeting with my team a few days ago and they gave me my pathology after surgery.......
Clear margins around the tumour, meaning they were able to cut around the tumour safely, leaving nothing behind.
All lymph nodes biopsied during surgery came back negative for cancer, even the sentinal lymph node they removed..
Skeletal ribs and pectoral wall both tested negative...
Breast skin tested negative too ! Oh and of the tumour removed that measured 6.8mm, only I.8mm of that necrotic mass was actual cancer. So ! Essentially as far as they are concerned, I am actually, currently, cancer FREE...
I'm sorry what ??
Yes folks, that's right, cancer feckin' free !!!!!!
...............
WWWWHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do a little dance if you so desire...
I accepted this news with a weird calm, hardly digesting it at all. She went on to tell me that my pathology is about as good a result as you can get from the chemo/surgery combo. In fact they were certain there would be some residual breast skin cancer and that I would have to do more chemo, (nightmare) but no ! They cannot believe my reaction to chemo and think it's miraculous. Quite frankly so do I.
Of course my team of doctors chalk this down solely to chemotherapy but I think that's a very narrow view to take. Yes chemo works, I am living proof of that fact and very happy for it, but this is not just chemo. This is the result of digging deep into my heart and soul and letting go of old ways that weren't working, countless Reiki sessions, Shamanic journeying, Acupuncture, Traditional Chinese herbs and supplements, diet, counselling, meditation, whatever made sense to me, I did it.
It all came together to give this one beautiful outcome. That's the beauty and power of healing with integrative medicine, it encompasses all and excludes none.
I'm telling you this, not to toot my own horn so you can all think I'm marvellous, rather I think it's really important to know that as individuals, we always have choices in how we go about things, that you can empower yourself, even as a cancer patient, to find the right kind of healing for your own soul. We are all beautiful, unique spirits trying to learn how to be human's on this glorious planet, maybe what I say here will help someone make a more empowered choice when it comes to their own or a loved one's healing process.
What was deemed to be a curse has turned into a bright and shining gift that has changed me forever for the better and for that I am truly and deeply grateful.
What's next ? Well they are recommending radiation treatment and I'm taking my time to arrive at the right decision, rest assured it'll be the one that'll have me living to a ripe old age, beard and all.
That's all for now my beauties, I am blessed and grateful to have each and every one of you in my life, it just wouldn't be the same without you xxxx
